10 Reasons Why You Can't Be With The Person You Want

September 21, 2023

We've all been there - crushing hard on someone who we just can't seem to make it work with. It's frustrating, confusing, and can be downright heartbreaking. Here are 10 common reasons why you can't seem to make it happen with the object of your affection:

1. Timing

This is one of the most common issues. Maybe you met at the wrong time in your lives - one of you was getting out of a relationship, moving away, or had other priorities like school or work that kept you apart. Even if there's an initial spark, sometimes the timing just isn't right.

2. Long Distance

Being far apart makes dating really tough. It's hard to build momentum and intimacy when you rarely see each other in person. Long distance takes serious commitment from both people to make it work. If one or both of you isn't willing or able to put in the effort, it likely won't pan out.

3. Different Life Goals

If you have major differences in the type of future you want - like getting married and having kids - it can be really hard to build a lasting relationship. Compromising on big life decisions often leads to resentment down the road.

4. Values Don't Align

Differences in your core values, like religion, politics, or ambition, can drive you apart over time. If you have opposing views of the world, it's going to seep into your relationship and cause conflicts.

5. Lack of Physical Attraction

As shallow as it sounds, physical chemistry and attraction does matter. There needs to be a romantic spark to get things off the ground. If the attraction just isn't there, it's hard to force a connection.

6. Trust Issues

Past heartbreaks or betrayal can make it hard to open up and be vulnerable again. If one or both of you struggle to trust, it's challenging to build real intimacy. Suspicion and jealousy can slowly poison a budding relationship.

7. Unresolved Feelings for an Ex

Carrying a torch for an ex makes it tough to become fully invested in someone new. Lingering feelings or unfinished emotional business with an old flame can sabotage a new relationship.

8. Self-Sabotage

Fear of commitment, deep-seated insecurities, distrust of your own feelings - there are many ways we unconsciously self-sabotage happiness. Old wounds run deep and make it hard to let someone in.

9. Family/Friend Disapproval

If your closest people express concerns, it can plant seeds of doubt. Their opinions could make you second-guess the relationship. Feeling like you have to choose can drive a painful wedge.

10. Emotional Unavailability

Some people struggle with emotional intimacy due to past hurts or personality traits. If one or both of you has difficulty opening up, it's hard to forge a real connection. Vulnerability is key.

The sad truth is that sometimes two people just aren't meant to be, no matter how strongly you feel. Every situation is different. If it's within your power to fix, communicate openly to resolve the barriers. But don't force a relationship that brings more pain than joy. Trust that you'll find the right person when the time is right.

Source: Reddit

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