12 Exhausting Personality Traits to Avoid in Relationships

Finding the right partner can be tough. While shared interests, mutual attraction, and compatibility are key, it's also important to watch out for exhausting personality traits that can drain the joy from a relationship.

After polling women on the most tiring traits in a partner, 12 kept coming up repeatedly. Avoiding these tendencies can help you nurture a healthy, energizing dynamic that brings out the best in both people.

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1. Playing the Victim

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Constantly casting themselves as the victim in every scenario is an obvious red flag. This person blames others for their problems rather than taking responsibility. They often fish for pity and use their "woe is me" status to avoid changing bad habits or addressing relationship issues.

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2. Neediness

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Clinginess and requiring constant validation reveals profound insecurity. Needy types demand continual reassurance about their looks, smarts, or your commitment level. Their extreme dependence will suck the life out of you if you allow their emotional void to dominate the relationship.

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3. Negativity

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Pessimists who criticize and complain about everything harsh the mellow of even the most cheerful optimist. Listen for subtle put-downs and focus on problems rather than possibilities. Saving a relationship poisoned by negativity requires a major attitude adjustment.

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4. Competitiveness

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Turning every activity into a contest drains the fun and intimacy from a relationship. One-upping your partner's stories or achievements with bigger and better versions indicates arrogance and insecurity. Dial down the need to dominate.

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5. Interrupting

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Cutting off your partner mid-sentence screams disrespect and lack of interest. Interruptions disrupt the give-and-take flow of healthy communication. An inability to listen damages trust and pushes your partner away.

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6. Ignoring Boundaries

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Disregarding clearly stated boundaries shows a lack of respect for your feelings and needs. Whether it's borrowing items without permission or pressing for intimacy when you've said no, these boundary busters value their desires over your comfort.

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7. Lack of Self-Awareness

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People oblivious to how their actions impact others often prove exhausting partners. They rarely apologize or change hurtful behaviors because they lack insight into their effect on you. Don't expect epiphanies from the clueless.

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8. Defensiveness

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Highly defensive people overreact to even minor criticism. They turn quickly from victim to verbal attacker at the slightest suggestion they've made a mistake. Defensiveness signals fragility and makes resolving conflicts next to impossible.

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9. Fishing for Compliments

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When simple affection isn't enough, some people constantly angle for validation. Rather than express appreciation for sincere praise, they dismiss it and prod you to "say it again." Their bottomless need for reassurance is emotionally draining.

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10. Drama Seeking

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Stormy emotionality might seem exciting at first but making a crisis out of every little thing gets old fast. Drama queens thrive on chaos and exaggerate normal ups and downs. Avoiding extremes nets a more peaceful partnership.

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11. Score Keeping

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Meticulous score-keepers tally every perceived mistake and hang onto grudges forever. They bring up ancient history when arguing and often suggest you don't love them enough because of that time you forgot their birthday in 2009.

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12. Unreliability

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You never know what you're going to get with an unreliable partner. Their broken promises and disorganization strain even easy-going types. Chronic lateness, missed dates, and constant excuses signal poor relationship material.

The initial spark of attraction can cause you to minimize or overlook these detrimental traits. Pay close attention as your bond deepens. Incompatibility arises not from differences, but from attributes preventing mutual understanding and care. Seek balance through open communication, reasonable expectations, and focusing on the rewarding aspects of your relationship.

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In Summary

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Avoiding or managing exhausting personality traits allows you to build a happy union based on genuineness and respect. Prioritize finding a partner who listens well, takes responsibility, compromises, and supports your dreams. Shared positive values and attitudes provide the foundation for a loving, lasting relationship.