What are the Lamest Excuses You've Heard a Cheater Say?

September 22, 2023

Infidelity can shake up a relationship and leave the betrayed partner shocked, hurt, and searching for answers. When confronted, cheaters often come up with some wild excuses to justify their behavior. While no excuse is ever good enough, some cheaters really reach with their reasoning.

If you've been cheated on, you may have heard some absurd attempts to rationalize the inexcusable. Let's look at some of the worst excuses cheaters try to sell.

"It just happened"

This common cop-out attempts to pass off an affair like an accidental trip and fall into infidelity. As if they were just walking along minding their own business when whoops! they suddenly found themselves entangled with someone else.

But we all know affairs never "just happen." They require intention, poor decision making, and conscious choices every step of the way. This excuse is nothing more than an effort to avoid taking responsibility.

"You weren't there for me"

Here the cheater tries to flip the script and make their betrayal the betrayed partner's fault. They claim emotional or physical needs weren't met in the relationship, so they had no choice but to seek fulfillment outside the relationship.

While relationships should meet important needs, feeling neglected does not justify cheating. There are always better options, like communicating needs or ending things ethically.

"I was drunk"

Ah, yes, the old "alcohol made me do it" defense. As if alcohol magically overrides a person's morals and induces them to act totally out of character.

The reality is that while intoxication lowers inhibitions, cheaters make the decision to drink and then make a series of decisions that lead them into the arms of another. Intoxication may make it easier to rationalize bad choices, but it's never a valid excuse.

"I thought you'd be okay with it"

This excuse implies the affair was no big deal and the cheater assumed their partner would give them a free pass. At best, it shows extreme obliviousness about how affairs damage trust and self-esteem. At worst, it's blatant gaslighting and an attempt to minimize wrongdoing. Either way, it's never okay to assume a partner would be alright with cheating.

"They pressured me into it"

Here, cheaters play the victim, claiming they were seduced or pressured by the other person. This portrays cheaters as hapless victims of circumstance rather than willing participants who could have refused at any point.

The truth is it takes two to tango, and cheaters bear responsibility for giving in to any perceived pressure.

"It was a mistake"

Framing cheating as just an innocent little mistake makes light of the calculated deception and disregard for a partner's wellbeing. Mistakes are accidental one-offs, while cheating requires layers of lies and conscious choices to betray and endanger a partner.

Rather than a mere mistake, cheating reveals deep flaws in character and integrity that require a lot of work to fix.

"I thought we were broken up"

This excuse stretches the imagination by claiming the cheater didn't realize they were still in a committed relationship. They act like the semantic difference between taking a break, splitting, separating, and fully breaking up makes their infidelity understandable.

But when there's any ambiguity about relationship status, the right move is to clarify before getting involved with someone else. Feigning confusion is just a weak attempt to skirt responsibility.

"You're never around"

Some cheaters actually try to blame their partner's job or busy schedule for forcing them to seek affection elsewhere. But no matter how preoccupied a partner is, cheating is never the answer.

This excuse blatantly ignores simple solutions like discussing needs, making time for quality connection, or leaving the relationship with integrity.

The Bottom Line

When cheaters offer up lame excuses, they aim to avoid owning up to their hurtful choices and continue avoiding responsibility in the future. Rather than buy into their rationalizing, take their excuses as revealing their lack of character and their inability to engage in healthy conflict resolution.

You deserve far better than flimsy justifications. Surround yourself with people who take accountability for their actions and treat others with care and respect. Life's too short for lame excuses.

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