Should I Text Her? 7 Tips for Texting After a First Date

September 21, 2023

You just had an amazing first date with someone new. The conversation flowed effortlessly, you had a lot in common, and you definitely felt a spark. Now you're wondering: should I text her?

Texting after a first date can be nerve-wracking. You don't want to come on too strong or make her feel smothered. But you also don't want to wait too long and make her think you're not interested. So what's the right texting etiquette after a first date? Here are 7 tips to help you navigate those critical post-date texts.

1. Don't Text Right Away

While it's tempting to text her right after parting ways, hold off for a few hours. Texting her immediately can come across as needy or overly eager. Give her (and yourself) some time to process the date and reflect on whether there was a real connection. Aim to text her the next day instead.

2. Keep It Light

Your first post-date text should be casual and breezy. Don't pour your heart out or make any bold declarations just yet. Simply reference something funny from your conversation or compliment the venue. This keeps things light while letting her know you had a good time.

3. Make a Reference to Your Date

While you don't want to be too intense right away, you should make it clear you're texting about your date. Say something like "I had a really great time with you last night" or "That Italian place had the best cannolis." This shows her you enjoyed the date and sets the right tone.

4. Ask an Open-Ended Question

Don't just say "how's your day going?" Ask a question that invites conversation and gives her something easy to respond to, like "Have you been able to get that song we heard last night out of your head too?"

5. Gauge Her Interest

Pay attention to the tone, speed, and length of her responses. Does she seem engaged and enthusiastic? Does she ask questions about you? Or does she give short, closed-off answers? This can help you determine if she's interested in seeing you again.

6. Ask Her Out Again

If the text convo is going well and you're both clicking, go for it and ask her on a second date. Say something like, "I'd love to see you again. Are you free Friday night?" Just don't make elaborate date plans until she says yes.

7. Don't Double (or Triple) Text

If she hasn't responded after a few hours, don't keep texting. Double or triple texting can come off as desperate. Be patient. If she's interested, she'll text you back eventually. And if she doesn't, move on gracefully.

The most important texting rule? Listen to your intuition. If you get the vibe she's not feeling it, politely exit the conversation. But if she seems engaged, keep the text convo flowing naturally. Dating apps like Filteroff also take the guesswork out of post-date communication. Through video speed dating, you'll know for sure if you have a real connection.

Texting after the first date doesn't have to be scary. Just keep it casual, listen for cues, and don't overthink it. With the right balance of patience and enthusiasm, your post-date texts could lead to many more great dates to come.

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