I Ran Into My Ex 10 Years Later and Realized My Feelings Never Faded - How Do I Move Forward?
Seeing an ex you still have feelings for years later can bring up a rollercoaster of emotions. You may find yourself fantasizing about rekindling the flame and getting back together. But is it actually a good idea to pursue a relationship with an ex you still love after so long apart? Here’s my advice after reconnecting with my ex-girlfriend from high school a decade later.
We Dated In High School and Lost Our Virginity To Each Other
My ex Sarah and I dated for 2 years in high school and lost our virginities to each other. At the time, I thought she was “the one” - my first real love. We ultimately broke up because she said she didn’t have strong feelings for me anymore.
Although we moved on and dated other people, I never fully got over Sarah. She was always in the back of my mind as the one who got away.
We Reconnected 10 Years Later and Slept Together
Out of the blue, Sarah reached out to me recently after a decade apart. We started chatting over FaceTime and it felt like no time had passed. We were both single and she invited me to come visit her.
I drove 90 minutes to see Sarah and things were awkward at first. But we quickly eased back into our old comfort zone - talking, laughing, and reminiscing about our relationship. We ended up having sex and falling asleep cuddling like old times.
Being with her again made me realize I’m still in love with Sarah after all these years. But since then, she hasn’t really been responding to my messages. I'm worried she just wanted to hook up and isn’t interested in getting back together seriously.
Should You Pursue a Relationship With An Ex You Still Love?
What should you do if you reconnect with an ex after years apart and realize you still have feelings for them? Here are a few things to consider:
Don’t Idolize the Past
It’s easy to romanticize the past and your memories with an ex. But you have to remember, there were probably issues that led to your breakup in the first place. Don’t let nostalgia cloud reality.
Consider How You’ve Both Changed
After a decade apart, you and your ex are likely very different people now. Don’t assume you’ll just pick up where you left off. Get to know who they are today.
Have an Honest Conversation
Discuss what went wrong in your past relationship and why you broke up. If those issues haven’t been resolved, they’ll likely resurface again.
Set Boundaries and Take it Slow
If you do decide to date again, don’t rush into anything serious too quickly. Ease back into dating and see how things go before leaping into a committed relationship.
Be Prepared It May Not Work Out
Even if you still feel love for an ex, you can’t force them to reciprocate. They may not want to get back together. Mentally prepare yourself for that possibility.
My Advice For Getting Over an Ex You Still Love
While part of me hopes Sarah and I might rekindle our romance, the romantic in me needs to be realistic. Here’s what I plan to do to get over her if it’s clear we have no future together:
- Delete/hide her on social media so I’m not constantly reminded of her.
- Avoid places we used to go together to help break those sentimental associations.
- Spend more time on my hobbies and with close friends for distraction and support.
- Start dating again when I feel ready so I can focus romantic energy elsewhere.
- Remind myself regularly that just because I still feel love for her doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together now.
Letting go of any ex you still have feelings for can be incredibly difficult. But with time, the pain fades and you’ll be open to finding new love again. The key is focusing your energy in healthy, productive places, not pining over the past.