He Won't Commit After 8 Months - Is It Time to Walk Away?
You've been dating a great guy exclusively for 8 months. You have amazing chemistry, get along wonderfully, and can see a future together. However, whenever you bring up officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, he balks. He says he needs more time to get to know you or doesn't see the point of labels. What gives? When is it time to walk away from a relationship without commitment?
As a dating coach and matchmaker, I've seen this situation many times before. While every relationship is unique, there are some red flags that indicate it may be time to move on.
Why Won't He Commit?
There are a few possible reasons why a man may be reluctant to commit after several months of dating:
He's Not That Into You
This may be hard to hear, but the brutal truth is he may just not see you as long-term girlfriend material. If he was really excited about building a future with you, he'd likely lock it down. His hesitation indicates you're not "the one" for him.
He's Keeping His Options Open
Some men, especially chronic daters, hate the idea of being "off the market." By refusing the girlfriend label, he keeps the door open to meet other women. He gets the benefits of a relationship without the commitment.
He Has Commitment Issues
For some men, the fear of commitment stems from past baggage or bad experiences. Their reluctance has little to do with you. However, these deep-rooted issues won't necessarily change anytime soon.
The Relationship is Stagnant
Perhaps your relationship has lost its spark and momentum. The lack of progression to commitment may signal things have gone stale between you two.
When to Walk Away
There's no definitive timeline dictating when you should exit a relationship without commitment. Here are some signs it may be time to move on:
- You've clearly communicated your needs, but nothing changes. If you've explicitly said you want a commitment and he continues to resist, it's a major red flag.
- You constantly feel insecure about where you stand. Self-doubt and uncertainty plague you because the relationship lacks definition. You deserve to feel secure.
- You catch him acting shady or suspicious. Odd behaviors like secrecy with his phone or plans may indicate he's keeping other romantic prospects open.
- You want different futures. His vagueness about commitment may reflect a lack of long-term compatibility between you two.
- You're sick of waiting around. Some people simply reach a point where they refuse to waste time on a dead-end relationship. Only you can decide when enough is enough.
Don't Lose Hope
Just because this relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you should give up on love. Remember, you deserve someone who is proud to call you their girlfriend and share a future with you. While getting over this hurt may take time, have faith that you will eventually meet the right partner who cherishes commitment as much as you do.
Rather than compromise your needs or beg for scraps of commitment, walk away with grace and confidence. Continue focusing on your own happiness and growth. Stay open to dating new people. When you least expect it, an amazing man who can't wait to commit will come along.