Do Women Get Turned Off By Men Who Talk About Their Feelings?
Talking about feelings and emotions is an important part of any healthy relationship. However, some men worry that being open with their emotions will actually turn women off. So what do women really think when a man talks about his feelings?
Women Appreciate Emotional Openness...To A Point
Many women say they want a man who can be emotionally vulnerable. Expressing emotions shows he trusts you and feels comfortable being his authentic self.
However, there are limits. Trauma dumping or constant negativity is draining. Use good judgment on when and what to share based on the relationship stage.
As one Reddit explains:
I get turned on by emotional maturity and respecting general boundaries by not trauma dumping or treating me like a therapist just because I'm a good listener.
Don't Make Her Your Only Emotional Outlet
Leaning on your partner for support is expected. But making her your only sounding board is unhealthy for both of you.
As one Redditor notes:
Treating you like a therapist basically means talking to you as if you’re a professional whose job it is to help you, and not as your partner who has their own emotional needs in the relationship.
Have other outlets like friends, family, hobbies and therapy to process emotions.
Timing And Delivery Matters
Bringing up relationship issues or deep trauma too soon can feel like an emotional dump. Even sharing positive emotions like saying "I love you" very early on can be a turn off.
As one Redditor explains:
If it's one of the first dates and the guy gets super lovey dovey and emotional on me that's overwhelming.
Match the depth of sharing to the intimacy level of the relationship. And Communicate feelings in a thoughtful, mature way.
Insecurity Is Unattractive
Venting fears or jealousy can backfire by making you appear insecure. Focus conversations on building the relationship up rather than tearing your partner down.
As on Redditor suggests:
When you share your feelings you are exposing yourself. If she leaves after you share your feelings it’s not because you were vulnerable. It’s because you exposed an unattractive part of yourself.
The Double Standard Is Real
Many men report women want men to support their emotional needs, but withdraw when roles are reversed. This indicates an unhealthy imbalance.
One Redditor notes:
Women have told me that they've been raped, and I've listened and sympathized [...] Conversely, women have gone cold when I'm told them far less extreme things that have happened to me.
Seek someone who can give empathy as well as receive it.
Advice For Sharing Feelings With Women
Here are some tips to open up while keeping her attracted:
- Match vulnerability to intimacy level
- Find balance between listening and sharing
- Discuss solutions along with problems
- Steer clear of constant negativity or insecurity
- Don't trauma dump, seek therapy if needed
- Have other outlets besides your partner
The key is being real while maintaining strength. With the right woman, emotional availability will only deepen the bond.
The Bottom Line
Expressing feelings shows depth and trust in a relationship. But balance, timing and context matter. Those struggling with trauma or insecurity are better seeking professional help before dating.
While views differ, the majority of women appreciate some emotional openness. Just take care to avoid overburdening partners with constant venting or trauma dumping.
With judgment and self-awareness, sharing feelings and being vulnerable can forge an unbreakable emotional connection.