Are Men More Shy Now When It Comes to Approaching Women?

September 21, 2023

Dating has changed a lot over the past decade. With the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, more and more people are meeting potential partners online rather than in-person. This shift away from traditional, face-to-face interactions seems to have made many men more hesitant to strike up conversations with women in public.

Women Complain Men Don't Approach Anymore

In online forums and conversations, you may see women wondering, "How come men don't come up to girls anymore to ask for their number or start conversations?" It's a fair question. Not too long ago, it was common for men to try picking up women at bars, asking for phone numbers on the street, or striking up random conversations in public places. But that seems to happen less frequently now.

So what gives? Are men more shy? Less confident? Or is there something else going on?

Why Men are Wary of Approaching Women Now

There are a few key reasons men seem less likely to approach women they don't know these days:

1. Fear of Being Labeled Creepy

For better or worse, many men worry that approaching a woman who hasn't clearly shown interest may cause her to feel uncomfortable or perceive him as "creepy." With the rise of the #MeToo movement, this fear has likely intensified for some men. They don't want to accidentally harass someone or make them feel unsafe.

2. Risk of Public Rejection or Humiliation

Approaching strangers is risky because you may face public rejection or humiliation if the woman isn't interested. In the age of social media, some men fear their rejection could even be documented and shared publicly, compounding the embarrassment.

3. Mixed Messages from Women

Men often complain of getting mixed messages from women about whether approaching strangers is welcome. Some women appreciate it, while others clearly don't. And the rules seem unclear of where/when it's okay. This confusion can deter men from trying.

4. Availability of Online Dating Apps

Dating apps provide an alternative way to connect that feels "safer" and less likely to annoy women just living their everyday lives. Some men have shifted their focus to apps instead.

5. Social Trends Towards Isolation

Some social experts argue people in general have become more isolated and enamored with technology, leading to declines in real-life social skills and confidence interacting with strangers. Dating app culture may exacerbate this.

What Should Men Do?

So should men resign themselves to only using dating apps and never approaching women again? Not necessarily. Here are some tips for men who still hope to meet women organically:

  • Focus on venues like bars and parties where people expect to socialize and flirt. Avoid disturbing women doing everyday tasks (e.g. their jobs, commuting, working out).
  • Initiate conversation politely, read body language, and disengage if she seems uninterested. Don't pressure for numbers/dates if getting a cold vibe.
  • Give compliments sincerely without seeming creepy or objectifying. Compliment style or personality, not body/appearance exclusively.
  • Consider a friendly chat that respects her time without demanding too much of her attention. Don't trap her in a long conversation if she's not keen to talk.
  • Approach respectfully without aggressive or sexual overtones. Kindness goes a long way.
  • Perhaps try meeting people through shared social activities and get to know them platonically first before asking out. Lower pressure.

Or... Women Can Make the First Move

Rather than lamenting unconfident men, women could always take the initiative themselves. Most men welcome being approached by women they find attractive. And women don't have to worry about coming across as "creepy" in the same way guys do. Turning gender expectations upside down could help revive dating culture for bolder women willing to make the first move.

So in summary, yes, men do seem more shy now about traditional romantic approaches toward unfamiliar women. But a few adjustments on both sides could make the dating landscape less awkward and more fruitful for in-person meetings. With a bit more understanding and courage, both genders can work together to bring back the lost art of organic connection.

Source: Reddit

Work with a Filteroff Matchmaker

Tired of sifting through endless profiles and swiping on dating apps in 2024?

It's time to let a professional Matchmaker do the heavy lifting for you!

Each Filteroff Matchmaker has over 10+ years of proven success in executive matchmaking, ensuring you'll receive curated, high-quality video dates.

Book your free consultation call below and start video dating today!

Here's what you'll get:

✓ Personal human matchmaker
✓ Intake session
✓ Unlimited dating coaching
✓ Unlimited video dates
✓ 90% cheaper than traditional matchmaking services
✓ No swiping, no endless chats

Book Matchmaking Call
*Got questions? Book a consultation call with one of our specialists here