8 Key Questions to Ask If Your Ex Returns After Ghosting For Another Guy
Getting ghosted by your girlfriend is bad enough. Finding out she went back to her ex while doing it is even worse. But what if, after all that, she comes crawling back wanting another chance?
It's a dilemma many of us face at some point. Do you take her back and risk more hurt down the line? Or shut the door permanently? There are no easy answers, but here are 8 things to think about before deciding:
1. Why Did She Leave in the First Place?
Really examine her reasons for leaving. Was she just confused? Going through a tough time? Or did your relationship have underlying issues making her unhappy? If so, have those problems actually been resolved, or will you be glossing over them?
2. Did She Cheat On You?
Some view going back to an ex during a breakup as cheating. Others see it as fair game after a split. Where you stand affects whether you can eventually rebuild trust.
3. How Long Were You Together?
If it was a newer relationship she bailed on, it may be easier to chalk it up as bad timing or a mistake. Longer term relationships mean deeper bonds and betrayal. Harder to overcome.
4. Has She Truly Changed?
Assure she has grown and wouldn’t repeat the same behavior. Has she shown true remorse? Made tangible efforts to fix things? Or is it all talk? Empty promises mean nothing.
5. Are Old Feelings Still There?
Even if you want to hate her, part of you still cares. Those feelings could resurface and blind you when getting back together. Be sure your head is ruling your heart.
6. Can You Ever Fully Forgive Her?
Don’t downplay the hurt she caused. If you can’t eventually forgive, it will slowly poison your relationship. You’ll throw the past in her face every chance you get.
7. Are You Ready to Move On?
What if she’s not “the one?” This could be your chance for a fresh start. Weigh if she’s worth it or you’re better off seeking someone new.
8. Are You Her Backup Plan?
Harsh truth: she may see you as her safety net if it doesn’t work out with her ex. Make sure you’re not just second prize. You deserve to be someone’s first choice.
Dealing with an ex attempting to come back is confusing. There are no definitive right or wrong moves. Take time for careful thought and introspection first. If you ultimately decide to try again, proceed slowly with eyes wide open. Good luck!