7 Ways to Respond When Your Girlfriend Gives Her Number to Another Guy

September 25, 2023

Finding out your partner gave their number to someone else and agreed to meet up with them can be devastating. Even if nothing physical happened, the breach of trust cuts deep. So what should you do if you discover your girlfriend gave her digits to a random guy at a bar? Here's some advice on handling this relationship crisis:

1. Don't Make Rash Decisions

It's understandable to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed upon uncovering inappropriate communication between your partner and another person. But avoid making any sudden reactive choices like breaking up on the spot or resorting to petty revenge. Take some time to process the situation before deciding how to move forward.

2. Communicate Your Feelings

Once you've cooled down a bit, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend. Explain why her actions made you feel betrayed and damaged your ability to trust her. Make it clear this was unacceptable while still listening to her perspective. Understanding the circumstances can help determine if it's a forgivable mistake or dealbreaker behavior.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

If you want to repair the relationship, you'll need to establish boundaries to rebuild broken trust. Be explicit about what you consider crossing the line and agree on steps she can take to demonstrate transparency and earn back faith, like sharing passwords or checking in about her plans.

4. Don't Snoop Again

Looking through your partner's messages without permission is a breach of privacy. Let your girlfriend know this type of snooping is unhealthy and damaging, even though it uncovered the truth in this case. Promise to communicate directly instead of sneaking behind her back in the future.

5. Evaluate Her Response

How your girlfriend reacts to this confrontation reveals a lot. Does she take responsibility and seem genuinely remorseful? Or deflect blame and minimize the situation? The latter may signal she will continue this inappropriate behavior. You can't force someone to be faithful if they don't want to be.

6. Consider Counseling

For couples who want to move past infidelity, even emotional, counseling can help. A therapist provides tools for restoring intimacy and trust. Individual counseling also helps you process the betrayal trauma and make self-care a priority.

7. Don't Feel Obligated to Forgive

You have every right to view this deception as a dealbreaker. Even if she seems sincerely sorry, you may decide the damage is irreparable. Don't let pressure to forgive and forget override what your gut is telling you.

Discovering your partner gave their number to someone new and agreed to hang out feels like a punch to the gut. But taking time to cool off before confronting them and directly communicating your feelings gives the relationship a fighting chance, if that's what you want. Just know that rebuilding broken trust takes effort from both people, so don't ignore red flags if you decide on forgiveness. With time and counseling, some couples can emerge stronger. But it's also okay to walk away after that sacred bond is violated. Trust your instincts to make the healthiest choice for your happiness.

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