12 No BS Dating Tips for Men Seeking Real Advice on Finding Love
Dating can be tough, confusing, and frustrating. As a guy, you want real, honest advice on attracting women and having successful relationships - none of that bullshit about just "being yourself." I asked the men of Reddit what no-nonsense dating tips they'd give, and their answers did not disappoint.
1. Talk It Out
One of the most common pieces of advice from guys was to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Don't play games or expect them to read your mind - if something is wrong, talk it out. As one Redditor put it:
"Don't do the 'read between the lines' or 'you should know' bullshit with anything. Actually talk. Having problems? Talk it out. Have concerns about something? Talk about it. Feel like the relationship isn't going where you thought it would? Communicate."
If your partner is confiding in their friends instead of you, that's a red flag. Make sure you're creating an environment where your partner feels safe and comfortable telling you how they really feel.
2. Show Clear Interest
Many men advised being obvious and direct when asking someone out. Use the word "date," make concrete plans, and be clear about your intentions. If you're wishy-washy or too subtle, you risk miscommunication and missed opportunities.
"Call it a date. Ask her on a DATE. Not a 'hang' or a 'chill session' or a 'get together.' You pick the location/activity. Don’t ask her what she thinks would be fun."
This takes the pressure off your date to plan the evening and shows confidence and decisiveness - very attractive qualities.
3. Go For the Kiss
Assuming the first date went well, go for a kiss at the end. Keep it classy - a long peck, not a full makeout sesh. This displays clear interest and attraction. As one guy put it:
"A gentleman doesn't go for the kiss in the middle of the meal, however. It happens right before you say goodbye. Also: a gentleman also does not mack at this stage. There is no tongue here. A gentleman gives a long peck, and leaves it respectfully."
Just be sure to read her signals first and don't force anything she's not comfortable with. Consent is key.
4. Look Your Best
Many men emphasized the importance of physical appearance in attracting women. No, it's not just about looks, but looking fit, well-dressed and put together gives you a leg up.
"The way women actively perceive your personality is HEAVILY impacted by your physical appearance...Basically, my life experience plus a little bit of logic has told me that to be successful with women, in 99% of circumstances you MUST be physically attractive to them before whatever you say and or do actually matters."
This doesn't mean you need to be an Adonis. Just put effort into your grooming, style, and fitness. It shows self-care and confidence.
5. Have Fun
At the end of the day, keep things light and have a good time when dating. Don't take yourself too seriously. Bring positive energy and make your date laugh. As one Redditor put it:
"Like yourself and have fun. Positive energy attracts people and has a tendency to keep them around too."
Going into dates feeling down or desperate will sabotage you. Focus on enjoying the experience and company.
6. Prioritize Yourself First
Work on your career, hobbies, health, and goals before stressing about relationships. Build a fulfilling life, then share it with someone.
"Build a nest than call the birds. That way if you get rejected it'll be from a place of power, nor desperation."
You'll exude much more confidence and appeal when you aren't dependent on someone else for happiness.
7. Don't Force It
If there's no natural chemistry or genuine connection, move on. Don't waste time trying to make something work with the wrong person just because you're lonely or want a relationship.
"Anything other than a yes means no. Don't waste your time or energy."
Listen to your gut. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
8. Respect Yourself
Have standards and don't tolerate any BS behavior like ghosting or disrespect.
"Never get a girlfriend simply because you want a girlfriend. Make a girl that you want to spend time with your girlfriend."
Know your worth and hold out for someone who values you.
9. Get Therapy
Take care of your mental health issues before dragging someone else into them. Get therapy to work through any trauma, depression, insecurity or anxiety.
"Deal with your shit. Go to therapy. Face it head on. Work through it. Don’t rely on a romantic partner to be your therapist."
You'll be a much better partner when you aren't relying on someone else to "fix" you.
10. Just Ask
If you're really feeling a connection, don't be afraid to ask for consent to take things to the next level physically. Something simple like "I'd really like to kiss you now, may I?" goes a long way. Or if you're unsure about where her head is at, ask.
"Typically I always plan to kiss on the first date if I’m into the person at the end. I also just say most often “I would like to kiss you” or sometimes I’ll just say “kiss?” That seems to always work out fine."
Communication is sexy. Asking respects boundaries and builds trust.
11. Know Your Non-Negotiables
Figure out your dealbreakers early on - religion, kids, lifestyle preferences, etc. Don't waste time on a relationship if your long-term visions don't align.
"If you both disagree on things you want in the long term, end it right away. If you think "they'll change or come around" then you're going to end up very hurt and very disappointed."
Be upfront and honest about who you are and what you want in life. Don't compromise on the big stuff.
12. Focus on Character
Sure, physical attraction matters. But the most important thing is finding someone with integrity, emotional intelligence and compatibility with your values.
"Personality matters a lot, but real physical attraction and looks still matter."
Look at the whole package. Hotness fades, but character is forever.
Dating is a crazy ride filled with high highs and low lows. By keeping these no-nonsense tips in mind, you'll be well on your way to dating success and finding real relationship happiness. The key is being honest, communicative, respectful, and going after what you really want. Don't settle, don't play games, and don't take rejection personally. Listen to your gut, speak your truth, and keep it real. The right person for you is out there - go get 'em!