11 Real Reasons Women Don't Enjoy Aspects of Sex and Intimacy
Lovemaking can be an amazing and intimate experience when you're with the right partner. But it's not always perfect. Even great sex has its awkward moments and challenges.
To get real insight into the parts of lovemaking many women don't enjoy, we turned to Reddit. Here's what they had to say:
1. The Pressure to Orgasm
For some women, feeling like their partner is laser-focused on making them orgasm makes it harder to actually climax. As one woman shared, "The pressure to have an orgasm. I’m very lucky that my current partner is very concerned about my pleasure in everything. However, between birth control and mental health meds, an orgasm is VERY hard for me to achieve even on my own."
2. Cleaning Up Afterwards
The post-sex cleanup isn't sexy for most people. As one woman said, she dislikes "Having to get out of the warm cozy bed to go and pee when I’d much rather stay and snuggle." Others mentioned disliking the "slimey feeling" and having to wash linens after getting fluids on them.
3. Getting in the Mood
Many women said they struggle to switch their brain from responsible adult mode to sexy fun times mode. One shared, "I have a hard time letting myself relax and enjoy it." This mental load can make it hard to get aroused and present in the moment.
4. Focus on Male Pleasure
A common grievance was that sex is often centered around men's pleasure and orgasms rather than equally meeting both partners' needs. As one woman said, it's often "so much about male pleasure and so little about female pleasure."
5. Body Insecurities
Body image issues and anxiety about how they look naked can distract some women from enjoying lovemaking fully. As one woman shared, she dislikes "Worrying about what the boy thinks of my body, feeling like I'm not hot or sexy enough."
6. Communicating Needs
Having to repeatedly give their partner direction or tell them what they want was an annoyance for some women. They don't like having to have potentially awkward conversations when their needs aren't being met intuitively.
7. Getting Physically Uncomfortable
From hip cramps to cervix pounding, getting into uncomfortable positions can ruin the moment for some women. Others mentioned they struggle with partners who are too heavy or sweat too much during lovemaking.
8. Emotional Crashes Afterward
Some women shared that they feel sad or emotionally vulnerable after sex, especially if aftercare or cuddling is lackluster. The intimacy chemicals wear off and leave them feeling low.
9. Getting Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs)
Multiple women cited their fear of developing UTIs as an annoyance. Some are prone to getting infections after lovemaking, so they have to be vigilant about peeing immediately after.
10. Lack of Spontaneity
Finding time for sex amid busy adult schedules can be tough. Planning and penciling it in feels decidedly unsexy for some women. Longing for more spontaneity makes lovemaking less enjoyable.
11. Faking Orgasms
Some women admitted they don't actually climax during lovemaking but fake it to avoid hurting their partner's ego or dragging things out longer. This pressure to perform can detract from real pleasure and intimacy.
The key takeaway? Even amazing sex has some less than glamorous bits. But understanding what detracts from each woman's enjoyment can help couples troubleshoot issues compassionately.
The more you communicate about wants and dislikes openly, the better the experience can be for both partners. Prioritizing intimate connection over perfect performance takes lovemaking to the next level.