18 Reasons Swipe Apps Suck

December 17, 2021

1. Time - swiping / texting

You first have to swipe for hours. You’ll begin to match with a few people. You then need to message those people within the app. The majority of those people never message you back, but there’s a glimmer of hope. A few do message you back. The majority of those in-app messages go no where. One seems like it’s going somewhere. You ask for their number. They give you their number. You text them. The text you back. This proceeds for a few more days. You finally ask them out. You eventually go out. I’m exhauted just writing that out, but that’s the normal process on dating apps. It’s a time suck.

2. Cost

Aside from many of the dating apps have a cost associated to it, you also have costs of your date. (Link) As a man in a major city like NYC, you have the costs of a subway ($5.50 round trip) then the costs of drinks. More than 1 drink each? Your bill with tip is at least $60. That’s not cheap to be spending on someone you don’t really know! 

3. Catfishing (link)

After texting for weeks you finally meet! You’re so excited, but when you sit down at the bar, your date looks nothing like their photos. Unfortunately not uncommon, as LINK does this. With filters it’s hard to see a good representation of a person. 

4. People lie on dating profiles (link)

Unfortunately people lie on their dating profiles. Whether it be their age, height, income...the list goes on and on. Again, it’s tough to know whether your date is being honest. It can take weeks if not months to start to get a full picture of your date. 

5. Last minute cancellation 

You just had your 9-5, you cook dinner, shower, get ready for your date only to get the dreaded text 30 minutes beforehand. “Hey! So sorry something came up.” It’s happened to all of us and it sucks. Aside from killing our plans, it leaves us feeling crappy and ready to give up on online dating all together.

6. Ghosting after the date (give stat)

Another reason why online dating sucks is of ghosting. Many people would rather ghost then tell you that they are just not that into you. I get it, people are uncomfortable in hurting someone’s feelings, but if you begin to avoid someone’s texts that’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone.

7. Not vibing on date

After texting for weeks, you may think you found your person, however, texting is an unreliable source on whether you have chemistry with this person. The only way to really determine that is to see each other face to face. STAT You can realize you have chemistry and vibe with that person in under X number of seconds.

8. Never ending text messages

We all do it. We think texting is actual conversation. Sadly it’s not. It’s a good way to confirm plans, but not to have a conversation where you grow with one another. Before going on a first date, the never ending texting conversation can seriously feel just like that...never ending.

9. Thinking about all the other dates they’ve been on in the last week 

Let’s be honest with ourselves, when you go on that date they may have just gotten off a date or may have dated 2 other times that week. You’re not special! You’re just another date. Whether it works out or no is to be determined, but yes you’re not the first person they’re dating. Understand this harsh reality. 

10. Expectations

What is your date actually looking for? Sex, a long-term relationship, friends with benefits? It’s tough to determine from a profile photo and a brief photo. Tinder nowadays has been deemed a hookup app, so you really don’t know what you’re getting until you go on your first date. The actions of your dates are a better indicator than what they may say they are looking for over text. 

11. Dick pics

Especially as a woman you may get a ton of unsolicited dick pics. For some reason men think it’s socially appropriate to send a pic of them masterbating. It’s absolutely disgusting and stupid. At that point they’re just trying to get off. Hit the block button if they send one. 

12. Choice paralysis / paradox of choice

In short, the paralysis of choice is a phenomenon that when you have too many choices it leads to anxiety and makes it extremely difficult to make a choice at all. With online dating you have infinite choices. Once you begin seeing someone you’ll see someone who may be better for you. How do you combat the choice especially when it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side. The what if’s of meeting someone better is intoxicating for many online daters.

13. Stress

Online dating is stressful. You may be stressed that you’re single and still haven’t found your person. You may be stressful because you have to spend a ton of time swiping just to go on a date. Or perhaps you’re stressed because you’ve been ghosted a number of times. The list goes on and on. 

14. Scams 

Online dating has attracted prostitution and shady individuals looking to profit off you. Do not send money to someone in exchange they will meet you or send you a photo. Aside from it being illegal, they may just take your money and block you. 

15. Algorithms are unreliable 

Many dating apps claim that they can find you your perfect match, however, it’s BS since there is no algorithm to find love. Finding love is about putting yourself out there and attending events that you personally enjoy. If you love to salsa dance, attend a salsa class. If you enjoy volunteering, go for it. You may meet someone who shares your common interests.

16. Opportunity costs

Aside from online dating being a large time drain, it also is a huge opportunity cost, especially if the date is crummy. One way to minimize risk of a bad first date is to jump on a quick FaceTime chat to see if you and your date vibe. The last thing that you want to do is attend a date and realize you’re not compatible. You could have hit a bar or gone dancing with your friends instead. The one thing you can’t get back is your time. 

17. Safety

Online dating can be scary. If you do online date, make sure to meet in a public setting. Feel them out before meeting somewhere that puts you in a vulnerable situation.

18. Bots

Many dating apps are filled with bots. A bit is a fake user that imitates an actual human. It’s a nuisance and reconfirms why online dating sucks.